SUBJECT: Judo one toes? To get the full effect of this, read aloud without rehearsing. This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a member of the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in the "Far-East Economic Review": Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees. Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service. RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen? HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs. RS: Ow July then? HG: What? RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...? HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please. RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease? HG: Crisp will be fine. RS: Okay. An Santos? HG: What? RS: Santos. July Santos? HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so. RS: No. Judo one toes? HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means. I'm sorry. RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we bother? HG: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine. RS: We bother? HG: No. Just put the bother on the side. RS: Wad? HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side. RS: Copy? HG: I feel terrible about this but... RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill... HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all. RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease, baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye? HG: Whatever you say. RS: Okay. Tendjewberrymud. HG: You're welcome.